Girly-Blog

Every year I get a check from my parents for my birthday and Christmas. It didn't always used to be this way, but as I got older and they got older and wearier of the crowds at the shopping malls, it just seemed easier for me to pick out what I wanted rather than them trying to figure it out. It used to bum me out though, cause part of the excitement of a birthday and Christmas is the surprise and anticipation of unwrapping a gift, no?
Anyway, this year was no different, except that something extraordinary happened after I got back to Brooklyn. I got home and saw I still had an unread issue of Gourmet magazine lying on the floor. I don't usually read the editor's notes, but since I'm a big fan of Ruth Reichl and wish she could be my friend, I always read her letter in the beginning. She talked about the holidays and how gifts are "much more than just the object" because "when someone gives you a gift, they are not only telling you that they care about you, they are also revealing who they think you are." She used an example of a friend who gave her a gift of antique kitchen utensils when she was in college, and while she loved the gift, she loved the fact that he saw the burgeoning cook in her.
I used to think my parents were uninterested and dismissive about me and my life and it caused me a lot of grief. But I realized that with their gift of money, they were saying something very different; they were saying, Hey, we may not know exactly who you are or exactly what you want, but we want you to find that out for yourself. Because it's your life and we want you to be who you want to be, not who we want you to be.
Honestly, it was the most glorious gift I could ever receive from them.